When people think about sales, they often imagine smooth talkers—fast-paced, high-energy people who can pitch anything to anyone. And sure, I’ve met my fair share of great talkers in this business. But what I’ve learned, especially after years of knocking on doors and hearing thousands of “no’s,” is that talking isn’t the real superpower. Listening is.

It’s not flashy. It’s not the first thing you see in a highlight reel. But in my experience, the best salespeople—and the best leaders—are the ones who know how to truly listen. Not just to respond, but to understand.

The Early Days: Learning the Hard Way

I started my career going door-to-door selling, and let me tell you, nothing humbles you faster than rejection from a stranger on their front porch. At first, I thought I needed to be “on” all the time. I’d roll into every pitch like a tornado of energy—facts, benefits, close, close, close. And I failed. A lot.

It wasn’t until I started slowing down and paying attention that things changed. I began asking questions—and then actually shutting up long enough to hear the answers. That’s when I started closing more deals. Not because my pitch got better, but because my ears did.

People Want to Be Heard

Here’s the truth: most people just want to feel understood. Whether you’re selling a product, leading a team, or raising a kid, people crave connection. And that connection doesn’t come from you proving how much you know—it comes from showing how much you care.

Listening is how we earn trust. It’s how we find out what really matters to someone. In sales, that could be their pain point, their budget, or what they value most. In life, it could be a feeling they don’t know how to express unless someone gives them the space to do it.

Listening Builds Relationships, Not Just Transactions

The more I listened, the more I realized how different each customer was. Some wanted the technical specs. Others just wanted to know I was a real person who understood their needs. Listening helped me tailor my approach and serve people better. That’s what turned one-time customers into long-term clients.

This principle goes beyond sales. In business, the relationships that matter most aren’t built on closing deals—they’re built on trust. And trust starts with being present, staying quiet, and letting someone share their perspective.

Listening as a Leadership Tool

Now, as someone who mentors and leads others, I’ve found that listening is just as important in leadership as it is in sales. When you’re in a position of influence, it’s easy to feel like you should have all the answers. But I’ve learned that the best leaders ask the best questions—and then they listen without interrupting.

When my team comes to me with a problem or a challenge, I try to ask things like:

• “What do you think is really going on here?”
  
• “What would you do if you were in charge?”
  
• “How can I support you right now?”
  

Then I sit back and listen. Because more often than not, people already have the answer—they just need someone to draw it out of them.

Listening Makes You Better at Everything

Listening doesn’t just make you better at business—it makes you better at life. It helps you be a better parent, spouse, friend, and community member. When I listen to my kids instead of jumping in with advice, I get a front-row seat to their thoughts and emotions. When I listen to my wife with full attention, our connection deepens. Listening builds empathy, which fuels understanding, which leads to better decisions.

We live in a noisy world. Everybody’s trying to be heard, but very few are trying to hear. The more I commit to being a listener first, the more grounded and effective I become—in every part of my life.

How to Get Better at Listening

Listening is a skill, and like anything else, it takes practice. Here are a few habits that have helped me grow as a listener:

1. Ask more questions.
The better your questions, the better the answers you’ll get. And people will open up when they feel your curiosity is genuine.

2. Pause before responding.
Most of us are just waiting for our turn to talk. Force yourself to pause after someone finishes speaking. It shows respect and gives you time to absorb what they said.

3. Put down the phone.
Nothing kills connection faster than distraction. Eye contact, body language, and presence matter more than we realize.

4. Reflect what you hear.
Say things like, “So what I’m hearing is…” or “It sounds like you’re saying…” This shows people you’re tuned in—and helps avoid miscommunication.

Final Thoughts: Talk Less, Win More

If there’s one lesson I wish I had learned earlier in life, it’s that listening is a power move. It doesn’t make you weak—it makes you wise. The loudest person in the room isn’t always the leader. Sometimes it’s the quietest person who’s paying attention, taking notes, and building a foundation for deeper trust.

In sales, in leadership, and in life—listening isn’t just good manners. It’s your competitive edge. So the next time you’re tempted to jump in, pitch hard, or fill the silence, try something different.

Lean in. Stay quiet. Listen closely. You might be surprised how much success shows up when you do.